I wrote this one in December 1999, back when there was a Chica chatroom....(but I‘ve updated it a little since then;)

‘Twas a week before Christmas and all through the room
the Chicas were chatting about you know whom
the pix were displayed on the screen with such care
Big brown eyes, luscious lips, sexy bod, curly hair....

There was Zorro, so dashing, so gorgeous and gallant
Sword fighting and riding a horse was his talent
And El Mariachi, who showed so much class
As he opened up can after can of Whoop Ass......
Ahmed in Arabian splendor so fine
And Tony, world’s sexiest expert on wine
Whose fate illustrated the pernicious danger
Of showing your nude derriere to a stranger....

Armand--sex appeal in a jugular vein
and speaking of bad boys, check out Miguel Bain
Or his gangster brother, if you’re feeling brave
Just watch your step ‘round them and don’t misbehave!
Did someone say con men? Catch that rascal Art
He’s simply “two much” with his twin brother Bart...
But if they should give you a turn for the worse
You can always summon Antonio the nurse
And if he should fail, then you’d better call
The adorable Dr. Francisco Leal
Whose best remedies were administered in caves
Compatriot Pedro also made waves......

And Ché, darling rebel, high flying adored
When he sang in Evita our temperatures soared
And Carlos, the world’s most desirable nerd
And poor Nestor, who played and sang like a bird
But whose thwarted passion he never could hide
And Ricky, who left us all fit to be tied...
Miguel Alvarez, who had such a way
Of making us wish we were men, but all gay
And Cesar, our champion, whom we’ll never block out
In briefs or in boxers he’s always a knockout....
And Luis,--those Cubans are too hot to trot...
And Gregorio, hotter than all you know what....

All these and others our hearts did so capture
That the chatroom’s abuzz with loud sighs of rapture
Reverberating with “thud” and with “klunk”
As we swoon over that Iberian hunk
And we’re secretly hoping, if we’re extra good
He’ll come from his lofty perch in Hollywood
And honor his fans with a taste of his presence
Amigas, I ask you...what could be more pleasant?

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This was written in answer to a request for a “feel good” poem for a Chica who was under the weather....

***ABsolute Therapy***

Are you feeling blue, downhearted, unlucky
Tons of troubles making your day really sucky?
Don’t be too mopey, and don’t get too pissed
Help’s a heart-throb away, take a look at my list....
For starters, I would suggest you try Zorro
A zip of his blade can zap away sorrow
Or El Mariachi, perhaps Miguel Bain
Can blow up those baddies who cause you such pain
Or Francisco Leal, that “cave man” so yummy...
His therapy soothes when you’re feeling...bummy
Or R.N. Antonio, assistant to Dr. Feelgood
His talent with numbers can make you feel real good.....
Or Ricky, if you’re at the end of your rope
His bedside manner gives plenty of hope....
And Tony, with his wet locks and Letage
Can offer a very sensual massage....
Maybe our Nestor could blow out your blues
Or Armand with AB-positive transfuse
Or Cesar with his pugilistic technique
Could knock all your troubles into next week!
Or Ché--his skills are the top of the line.....
On second thought, no, you can’t have him, he’s MINE!

But there’s plenty of others, if all else fails you
Antonio’s good for whatever ails you!

Click on collage to enlarge....

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