Or, RoZ's Really Disgusting Vanity Page, Full of Personal Information That Nobody Really Gives a Crap About, Interspersed With Cleverly Manipulated Photos That Make Her Look Prettier Than She Really Is, Weighty Wisdom and a Few Wise Ass Remarks and Cutesy Animations....But At Least You Won't Find Any of Those Nauseous Heartsy-Flowery Graphics or Refrigerator-Magnet Poetry Other Women Goo Up Their Personal Pages With;) OK, so there's one flower...nobody's perfect NAME: RoZ Berry ALTER EGOS: 'Zita, Warrior Princess, Armariel Dreamflower, Iron Bess Kidd, Viscountess Quick Rabbit, Zsa Zsa Girdlebuns, and maybe a couple of others I don't know about yet...No, I DON'T suffer from Multiple Personality Disorder, I enjoy every minute of it;) PLACE OF RESIDENCE: Jonesboring--er, Jonesboro, Arkansas AGE: Yeah, I got one of those HEIGHT: 5'6" WEIGHT: Don't know, my bathroom scale always hides when it hears me coming HAIR: Brazilian Bronze (that's what it says on the box) EYES: Green ASTROLOGICAL SIGN: Like, who cares (OK, Aquarius) DISPOSITION: Cuddly (most of the time) MARITAL STATUS: Not looking but not running (actually that's not quite true--sometimes I look and then I run like hell) KIDS: 1 Cat, Muffy HOBBIES: Music, art, writing, messing around on the computer, contemplating the mysteries of the universe DAY JOB: Personal Living Assistant...Yep, I help people live;) IDEAL JOB: ummmm...Antonio Banderas's body makeup applicator;)....(Actually I'd settle for Viggo Mortensen--at least HE's single *g*) AMBITION IN LIFE: Ummmm...let me think about that one for a while PERSONAL PHILOSOPHY: Life is like water, it makes you have to go pee a lot (hey, I just made that up *snerk*) Hey, check out my SWORD!!!! Isn't it a beauty? Pay no attention to that chubby woman holding it...she must think she's me or something, poor thing...... Watch out for big bad 'Zita the Warrior Princess.....she's hell in a handbasket...well, she IS...... Ready for my closeup, Mister Demille.... Looks much prettier than this really, that darn flash makes it hard to see the detail on the hilt.... Here's a little something my lovely friend Lorraine sent me for my birthday last year.... I've bought two other blades since then, I'll show them off as soon as I can get my mitts on a decent camera....Meanwhile here's another pic of me with my mom and grandniece, Raven (taken in 2001, she's quite a bit bigger now) Here's a little digital self-portrait I did, in kind of a 30s mode... And here's where I live: Ah, here's what I REALLY look like....*gggg* You are a goddess! Which Ultimate Beautiful Woman are You? brought to you by Quizilla ~*~*~*~ Some words to live by...;)) 1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the hell alone. 2. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it. 3. Sex is like air. It's not important unless you aren't getting any. 4. No one is listening until you fart. 5. Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else. 6. Never test the depth of the water with both feet. 7. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments. 8. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them you're a mile away and you have their shoes. 9. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you. 10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. 11. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it. 12. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything. 13. Some days you are the bug; some days you are the windshield. 14. Don't worry; it only seems kinky the first time. 15. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket. 16. A closed mouth gathers no foot. 17. Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side and dark side, and it holds the universe together. 18. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works. 19. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving. 20. Never miss a good chance to shut up. 21. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. 22. There is a fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness." [ouch] 23. Everyone seems normal until you get to know him or her. 24. Never squat with spurs on. THE MOST WASTED DAY OF ALL IS ONE IN WHICH WE HAVE NOT LAUGHED! OK, enough already, take me back home!!! Sheesh.... Webrings