Or, RoZ's Really Disgusting Vanity Page, Full of Personal Information That Nobody Really Gives a Crap About, Interspersed With Cleverly Manipulated Photos That Make Her Look Prettier Than She Really Is, Weighty Wisdom and a Few Wise Ass Remarks and Cutesy Animations....But At Least You Won't Find Any of Those Nauseous Heartsy-Flowery Graphics or Refrigerator-Magnet Poetry Other Women Goo Up Their Personal Pages With;)

OK, so there's one flower...nobody's perfect...yeah, it's an old pic, I'm a blonde now, but don't have any more recent photos, at least not any I'd care to show....

NAME: Rosie

ALTER EGOS: 'Zita, Warrior Princess, Armariel, Iron Bess Kidd, Zsa Zsa Girdlebuns, and maybe a couple of others I don't know about yet...No, I DON'T suffer from Multiple Personality Disorder, I enjoy every minute of it;)


AGE: Yeah, I got one of those

HEIGHT: 5'6"

WEIGHT: Don't know, my bathroom scale always hides when it hears me coming

HAIR: Blonde

EYES: Green

ASTROLOGICAL SIGN: Like, who cares (OK, Aquarius)

DISPOSITION: Cuddly (most of the time)

MARITAL STATUS: Not looking but not running (actually that's not quite true--sometimes I look and then I run like hell)

KIDS: Tony the Cat

HOBBIES: Music, art, writing, messing around on the computer, contemplating the mysteries of the universe

DAY JOB: Personal Living Assistant...Yep, I help people live;)

IDEAL JOB: ummmm...Antonio Banderas's body makeup applicator;)or maybe Gerard Butler's...

AMBITION IN LIFE: Ummmm...let me think about that one for a while

FAVORITE TV SHOWS: Smallville, Ugly Betty, McGyver, Desperate Housewives

PERSONAL PHILOSOPHY: Life is like water, it makes you have to go pee a lot (hey, I just made that up *snerk*)

Meet one of my alter egos, the irrepressible Zsa Zsa Girdlebuns....

Here's another pic of me with my mom and grandniece, Raven (taken in 2001, she's quite a bit bigger now)

Here's a little digital self-portrait I did, in kind of a 30s mode...

And here's where I live:

Ah, here's what I REALLY look like....*gggg*
You are a goddess!

Which Ultimate Beautiful Woman are You?
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And now a bit of Arkie wisdom;))

Always sit in the middle seat in a pickup truck. That way, you don't have to drive, and you don't have to get out and open the gate.

Never kick a fresh turd on a hot day.

After eating an entire bull, a wildcat felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him. The moral: when you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.

If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.

Never smack a man upside of the head when he's chewin' tobacco.

It don't take a genius to spot a goat in a flock of sheep.

Never ask a barber if he thinks you need a haircut.

Only a fool argues with a skunk, a mule or a cook.

Never follow good moonshine with water, unless you're out of good moonshine.

Never try to teach a pig to sing. It's a waste of time and annoys the pig.

If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around.

Don't worry about bitin' off more than you can chew. Your mouth is probably a whole lot bigger'n you think.

Good sense comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad sense.

Always drink upstream from the outhouse.

Never drop your gun to hug a bear.

When you give a lesson in meanness to a critter or a person, don't be suprised if they learn the lesson.

There's two approaches to arguin' with a woman. Neither one works.

Don't let your mouth be writing checks that your butt can't cash.

Never trust a hound dog to guard your vittles.

When you're throwin' your weight around, be ready to have it thrown around by somebody else.

Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back.

Always take a good look at what you're about to eat. It's not so important to know what it is, but it's critical to know what it was.

Remember: The man who cuts his own firewood warms himself twice.

The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back in your pocket.

Never pass up a good chance to shut up.