Lost Without Each Other

(Against the Wind)

By Delorita

I'm relaxing in the bathtub. Soft candlelight flickers over my face; the scent of lilac bubble-bath fills the air. The sounds of the Mediteranean sea comes from a distance as I slowly slip deeper into the steaming, foamy water.

Yes, I've found a home near the beach now. A tiny room, but finally I am able to hear the music of the waves and the wind for real now. But I am sighing sadly because I find myself thinking of my brother again. I wanted to banish those thoughts of him from my mind since he left me in the bus in such a mean way, but I cannot. Just the slightest thought about him makes me hot. When I spread my fingers in the steamy water I can almost feel the soft skin of his back. No man ever made me ever feel like Juan did.

I wonder how he noticed that I wanted him. I wonder why I fell in love with my own brother at the age of eleven. He did not mind that I followed him and his friends every place they went. He did not mind that I saw how they smoked the first joint when they were thirteen. When I became thirteen he gave me my first joint too, secretly beneath the sheet of my bed. And he gave me my first kiss then. He didn't hesitate. As though he'd know I wished it so much he kissed me deep and hard, in the same way I had always seen it on TV.

When I became fourteen he took my virginity. In the year between my 13th and 14th birthday we did a lot of exploring our bodies when our parents weren't at home. I enjoyed it like nothing else and so did he. His friends were barely around then.

There were only Juan and me, lost in our world.

One night, he started to move his moist soft mouth down my stomach, his tongue drove me wild already, when he caressed my bellybutton. When he moved further down I asked, "What are you going to do now?"

"Shhh," he soothed me, " I am going to give you the best feeling you ever had." And it was. The orgasm jerked my whole body almost from the bed.

"Oh Ana..." he sighed when he rubbed his hard penis against my thigh, "this is so wonderful. " We kissed when he came, spilling all his hot fluid onto my body. I loved to be showered with it.

But then he looked with such a sadness at me, I never saw before in his eyes and whispered, "But this is forbidden, hermanita." I laid his head against my not much grown breasts and groaned back, "I know, but let's do it nevertheless."

Thinking of those lost days, a deep sigh escapes me into the still hot water.

Suddenly I hear the door creak open, startled I crack open an eye to see Juan trying to sneak in on my private moment. I am shocked and almost jump from the tub but his back is to me as he slowly eases the door shut. Since he is obviously taking such great pains to try to surprise me, I close my eyes, and allow my brother to believe that his stealth has been successful. But my heart is pounding in my throat, I am not surprised that he came in, I always leave the doors open, I don't care about bandits. I am totally and positively surprised that he actually found me!

I hear the rustle of his clothing as he tries to quietly cross the bathroom floor, and the rustling grows louder the closer that he gets. I can hear him kneel down beside me, and feel the warmth of his hand as it passes over my face; one slight move on my part, and he is so close that I could kiss his palm. I hear him sigh as I feel his hand move away, and I open my eyes to see him looking at me with open want. I gasp. He looks totaly different. His short hair is longer now , slicked away from his forehead. Several curls are carressing his neck but are hidden from the leather jacket he wears. He is looking with a frown at me, his hand resting on the edge of the tub.

"Ana," he murmurs.

"You, you searched for me?" My whole body is starting to tremble at the sight of him. He looks better then ever. Carefully I take the cigarette away from the corner of his sweet mouth. Obviously he had forgotten it was there because it is not lit.

His face comes closer and closer to mine: "I can not be without you either, hermanita." With a painful groan his lips cover mine and we are kissing several seconds until he breaks the kiss, and tells me, almost with a sob: "Te quiero, tambien."

I feel such a relief I almost lose my breath. His hands are touching me already as though searching for a lost treasure. "You are so beautiful," he repeats again and again. I sit up and slowly push his jacket away from his shoulders, revealing the white shirt which I so love to see on him. With my wet hands I start to rub his upper arms, still kneeling in the tub. I want him to kiss my nipples and he does. Slowly I slide beneath the shirt with my hands. I can not believe that I am caressing that soft skin again. My brother's skin.

His tongue against my breasts drives me crazy. And his hand which already re-discovered the throbbing point between my legs. Quickly I pull the shirt over his head, bend down to tease his nipples too. He gives an animal-like groan and gasps: "Sis, I need you so bad, release me. Por favor." With shaking fingers I try to open his jeans. But he is so aroused I almost can't get the zipper down. When I finally managed to get it I put my trembling hands on his softly cushioned butt. I can not help it and start to suck his cock. But he stops me:

" Nonono...I will come...oh Ana ...but i want to take you." And with that he's joining me in the tub and with a glorious groan he enters my waiting body. He plunges himself into me as though to make up for the lost year. His eyes are black, the fire of the candles and his lust is burning in them and as always he doesn't close them and neither do I . We are joined with body and soul. Brother and sister. In a forbidden way. At least he thinks so...

I move myself against him, meeting his passionate, overpowering rhythm. The water has left the tub already. I don't notice how uncomfortable it is. I just feel him warm and wet and hard inside myself and that he did come back. "Juan , Juan, Juan!" I can not help it but have to shout his name when he is driving me to the edge of my unbearable lust. I am shaking all over when suddenly his whole body shudders and he is yelling my name as though he'd lost me. I grip his butt and hold him tight against me and the fire of my climax is almost burning me down.

Totally exhausted he rests against my wet body. "Lo siento, lo siento." He seems unable to find other words.

"Juan, look at me." He slowly lifts his head. "Don't be so devastated anymore." I caress his cheeks. But he gets up from the tub, helping me to step outside. With hanging head he walks over to the bed, my hand clasped tight in his, pulling me behind.

" Why shouldn't I ? " Almost angrily he slams himself onto the white sheets.

"We are never allowed to do this," he pulls me down beside him, "but I came to the conclusion in the last year that our love the only reason is to live for..." Helplessly he snuggles his head against my neck again.

"But it isn't a sin what we are doing," I finally can tell him when my fingertips enjoy his wet skin.

"Que?" He looks at me with the most surprising expression.

"We are not brother and sister, I just found out that you have been adopted when you were a baby. Mother told me..." I am not able to finish the sentence. Juan closes my mouth with his gentle but insisting lips, starts to kiss me like he never did before. His tongue feels so soft, rubbing and brushing over and beside and beneath mine. I never want that kiss to stop. I press him as close as I can against me, his sweaty body arouses me again. Finally we are able to do this without second thoughts. We even could make babies...

But suddenly he breaks the kiss and is rolling away completely from me on his back, covering his face with his arm.

What is now ? I am totaly in shock and hardly can hear his "But..." between his nearly closed lips.

"I killed your lover." He almost swallows the words.

Slowly and relieved I move myself against his side, my leg across his, my pubic hair brushing his thigh, my lips covering his shoulder with tiny moist kisses, my hand grabbing his already again ready shaft and make him groan hoarsely.

"Juan, I know," I whisper into his mouth when he takes his arm away and covers my seducing hand with his, pushing his hardness against my fingers. He is looking fully at me, asking: "You know it and you don't care that I am a murderer?"

His breath is quickening again, his thrusts become faster. I hardly can wait to climb on top of him. "No, I don't care because I am sure it was an accident, you are not a killer." I kiss him hard but pull away again. "And besides, he never was my lover." Now I straddle him, his eyes are looking helpless up at me "You, mi hermano, have ever been my only lover and always will be." sensuously slow I lower myself onto the tip of his cock, feeling his hands grab my ass. I can't stand it any longer so I am almost stuttering when I say: "And we....we have a new secret now."

"Jesus," is his only answer and then we are lost...lost in our lust and our love.

Index